It is hard to describe what I feel right now.
Happy. I am happy that I am single for the summer, it is going to be fucking amazing. I am going to see a lot of people that I haven't seen in a long time, hopefully hang out with Chris a lot, and live it up.
Dissapointed. I am dissapointed that it ended like this with really no rhyme or reason. I always wanted to be friends when it ended, but I have no desire for that.
Satisfied. I am satisfied at the fact that I have made a lot of great friends. I will keep in touch with these people of course, nothing can stop me from that. I am also satisfied that I help set up my good friend, Tylan, with a wonderful girl, Amy. They are officially the coolest couple now, you guys are great.
Excited. I am excited to be single again, excited for the summer. This is going to be the best one yet. It kicked off great, and I can only see it getting better.
Confused. I am confused for the reasons why it is over. I understand that it is hard, nearly impossible, to get past the fact that I broke it off earlier a couple of days. But besides that, I was given only one other reason to why it is over. That reason is because I hung out with her friends without her. I was living with Tylan and his girlfriend, Amy was having her friend live with her. I don't see what the big deal is.
Weird. I am feeling things I have never felt before when a relationship was over. I am not at all upset and I do not have any regrets. It is a very, well, weird feeling. I don't neccessarly like it or dislike it, it is just there.
This whole situation feels like a story that doesn't have an ending. That is because this is not over. It may be finished between her and I, but the people I have met, the friends I have made, and the memories will continue.
So much has gone on already in 2005 including the death of an aunt and uncle, a death of a good friend, my brother Dan deciding to live in Memphis instead of home, and many other things that all of my feelings seem to blend together into one giant blob inside of me. It is there and it is going no where for a long time, but I don't care.
When people ask me if I miss her, I say yes. I don't miss her in an upset way, but more of a forced way. Anyone, and I mean anyone, that was such an important part of my life for six months and then dissapears will be missed. Six months is a long time in any situation.
I heard once that it is best to go out with a quote. Someone has already said best, so if you can't top it, you should steal it from them.
"Everything beautiful must come to an end, whether we like it or not. We must all learn to live with it and move on in the best way possible."
I had a good run. It was fun.
Thank you.
Goodbye. | 
